When combined with a relationship, love and money can either result in absolute happiness or utter misery. Why then do some couples handle money well while others make it the source of their biggest arguments?
It all boils back to how we were taught to connect to money when we were young. If you and your partner have different financial philosophies, this can frequently lead to chaos when one or both partners respond to one other's absurd and bothersome financial "habits".
Therefore, I counsel my customers to examine their own financial situation before criticising their partner. This provides a framework for understanding why there may be little, if any, commonality in the prior experiences each person has had with money. Partners are then better able to understand why they accuse one another of being a hoarder, a spendthrift, or completely irresponsible after sharing their individual frames of reference.
People also have various connections with money, which, of course, exacerbates any problems a couple may have be having with emotional intimacy. As a result, people not only have diverse relationship patterns, but also varied relationships with money.
Why does money act as such a strong trigger? because money equals power in a relationship (as it does in many other facets of life). Whether you acknowledge it consciously or not, this equation is crucial to consider whenever we talk about money and financial concerns that develop in a relationship. Anyone would be wise to consider their personal connection with money before making a meaningful commitment considering the divide this might produce. If people would promise to first examine and debate what is acceptable to each other before being married, many divorces may be avoided.
Once you have a better understanding of this aspect of money, you will be able to see more clearly what issues need to be resolved in order to build the kind of connection you actually desire with your partner. In my practise, I still run into a surprising number of traditional financial ties. It appears that professional women, including those in the corporate world, who are quite career-savvy, continue to select and assume (at this stage anyhow) a more traditional position with money matters inside their partnerships.
Having said that, it's crucial to avoid passing judgement on either partner's perspective on money. It's crucial to understand that power still equates with money in many countries, particularly American society. Money has many various connotations associated to it, and whenever we consider the significance of money in the context of our relationships, we must keep in mind that it is always tied to our upbringing.
It follows that we will naturally have diverse perspectives on money given that we were raised in different ways than our spouses. Please be kind to one another and keep that in mind when resolving any financial disputes. Because there are many bombs related to financial difficulties and spending patterns. In fact, our relationship with money and how we express ourselves publicly
Bottom Line: Keep in mind the value you place on your love for each other and your hopes for your future together as you enter the conversation about coming to a financial compromise. This will lessen the influence money has on us and the mistrust it frequently breeds in relationships. You will be able to find a solution that respects and accepts one another's relationship with and upbringing surrounding money more readily if you keep this in mind.
According to scientists, the topic of money is one of the most significant points of conflict in couples. But how are money and love connected, and what influence does one have on the other? How can we talk about money without damaging love? Why does „cold“ money destroy a relationship? How does understanding about this delicate subject strengthen the love of couples? Michael Mary provides insights and suggestions on how each couple can recognise the role money plays in their relationship and gives concrete suggestions on how the couple can decide how to deal with it. So that the relationship „rules“ over money – and not money over the relationship.
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